Monday, March 3, 2014

Six Month Anniversary & New Bull/Dominant

Sorry for not posting sooner, but a lot has happened in the last 2 months or so since the last post.

Here's the latest:

6 Months of
Female Led Marriage - Chastity -  Cuckoldry
(a LOT to celebrate!)
February 23rd marked the six month anniversary of our new lifestyle for Syd and me.  This is to say twenty
and one-half years of marriage.  To celebrate it, Ry and i thought up a surprise evening for all of us - one in which Syd would know nothing about until the very last second.  Ry suggested we go to his house for the evening.  This was a gesture i didn't take lightly as i know how private he is.  It felt good that he trusted us as we trust him.

He and i had the idea hatching for about a week until the fateful day came.  i told Syd we were going out on a date and to please keep her schedule clear.  i told her we were going out to dinner at a place she had never been.  She seemed very happy to go out in what was billed as our "anniversary" dinner.

There is always suspense around what she will wear when we go out now.  i never know exactly - will it be a sexy outfit?  Or, will it be something casual?  i asked her to dress sexy for me.  i even asked her to wear garters for me.  She smiled at me and said playfully, "You know, I only wear those for my boyfriend."

Nonetheless, she looked stunning.  Her shiny blonde mane so perfectly framed her pretty face.  It bounced and curled off her shoulders just how i like it. She wore silver hoop earrings - my favorites.  i think they make her look so elegant yet incredibly desirable - i.e., they say "Fuck me!" to me.

The blouse she had on was absolutely one of finest i have ever seen her wear.  It was a light tan shirt that was see-through on the arms and back and very low cut in the front.  Her gorgeous neck displayed her necklace that we both know as the symbol of our female led marriage.  To see her silky bra through her blouse is a sight to behold.  i am getting hard right now just writing about it.

The pants she chose for the evening are a deep goldish/brown color and accentuate her ass perfectly.  Whenever she wears these pants, guys can't help but look and stare at her as she passes.   And to top it off, she wore my favorite boots - brown leather with a very sexy 3 or 4 inch heel.  These boots look like a female dominant could wear them or a hotwife.  In this case, it demonstrated both.

i was feeling very good about this evening.  Even though i knew she would be taken by her "boyfriend" in ways i could only imagine, i was very excited about watching her in ecstasy which i knew would almost certainly happen.  i am still caged so i knew there wasn't a high probability of her "toy" seeing any action, but i definitely hoped.  i was looking forward to feeling a closeness among the three of us - almost of the polyamorous variety.  Perhaps this would be the seed of bad feelings for me later.

We drove to Ry's house and Syd really didn't suspect anything until we began to pull into his driveway.  She knew instantly that this house must be her boyfriend's.  She smiled and said, "I can't believe you two did this.  I had no idea.  Now, I am very nervous."

i told her that i didn't tell her about it earlier because i didn't want her to be nervous and i sensed she appreciated that.  Previously, i bought two bottles of wine and had them stashed in the back of the car.  i knew she and Ry both like red wine and i bought a couple special bottles of Pinot Noir for the occasion.

We walked hand in hand to the front door and i rang the doorbell.  He answered the door and we entered the foyer and were all smiling brilliantly.  i closed the door as they hugged and kissed.  He then welcomed me and shook my hand then we also hugged.  The kind of macho hug you might give your male cousin - lol.

He walked us through his living room and dining room showing us a couple projects he had underway.  His house was very warm and welcoming.  It felt very good to be in his home and there wasn't an ounce of me that felt uncomfortable.

We proceeded to the kitchen where he was almost complete with a renovation project he did himself.  The workmanship was impeccable and Syd and i both loved his choices of finishes.  He continued telling us the details of the renovation and at the end he looked at me and said, "And, I have a favor to ask you."

From there, he showed me various food items i was to prepare for the three of us - tilapia, couscous, and broccoli.  He told me i was to prepare the fish with coriander, salt and pepper topped with lemon slices.  The couscous just needed to be boiled and set aside.  And the broccoli was to be steamed.  He wanted the coriander to be roasted.  And, then showed me where his mortar and pestle was so i could grind the coriander.

Then, i was left in the kitchen alone as they proceeded to the living room.  i knew i had a task and was intent on pleasing Syd and Ry with the dinner.  Having the task almost, i say almost, let me forget what was happening in the other room.  i couldn't see anything, but i could hear things.  First, it was mostly cute giggles and then after a bit of silence i could hear Syd moaning.  She was moaning louder than i can ever remember her moaning and the sounds of her pleasure accompanied my directions to prepare dinner in a symphony of eroticism.  i couldn't help but feel the pressure of my little dick (as Ry instructs me to call my penis) straining against my metal cage.  It was very hard to concentrate knowing the most intense scene was playing out in the next room.

As i continued my preparations, Syd's moans grew increasingly strident and then i could hear the sounds of them going upstairs to what must have been Ry's bedroom.  Her moans while a bit muffled, were growing in intensity and i could tell she was going through many phases of ecstasy.  And, i did my best to stay focused on the task at hand for i wanted to make this a very special dinner, an anniversary dinner, to be celebrated with the three of us.

This is what i imagined as i prepared dinner.
So, i set the table, searching his cabinets for wine glasses and napkins, placing the water glasses, getting silverware and even checking google to make sure all were placed properly (the wine and water glasses threw me).  i reveled in the submissive attitude i felt.  Every once and while i would hear her moan so beautifully.  i was astounded that i felt good feelings inside each time i heard her sexual cry or his guttural groan.  i knew she was feeling pleasure and that was all that mattered to me.

The moans were growing stronger and louder and soon i could hear him cum with such force, and although i knew he was wearing a condom, i imagined him cumming inside her with rockets of cum inside her freshly invaded pussy.  i truly wished i was there to witness it.

As dinner was close to being fully prepared, they came downstairs and she reached me first.  She melted right into my arms and planted a huge kiss on me thanking me for orchestrating this night and for cooking for her and her black boyfriend.

i lowered the lights and asked them both to sit at the table.  It was round and Syd sat in the middle of us.  As they sat and talked, i served them their food and then brought my plate to the table last.

We all sat there looking at one another and just couldn’t get over what was transpiring.  None of us had ever experienced what we were experiencing and it felt so universally good - on all levels.

Syd raised her glass and toasted Ry for having us over and then looked at me and toasted me for making it all possible.  The dinner was off to a good start.

We sat and ate and drank and talked like old friends for over an hour and a half.  We exchanged stories about one another giving each a glimpse into our lives.  He was learning more about us and we were learning more about him. 

Once dinner was over, i cleared the table as they went into the living room.  i joined them soon and Syd was
lying in his arms on the couch as if she had been with him for a long time.  They looked cute.  It was an awesome sight and it made my whole body warm.  He began to kiss her, tweaking her nipples, and inserting one of his fingers inside her.  I’d say it was within about a minute she was literally squirting all over, soaking her pants and even his couch.  It was quite a sight.
Seeing both her hands around his dick
with room to spare, caused us both
to look at one another.

Ry saw me and mentioned it was time for all of us to go upstairs to his bedroom. As we ascended the stairs, he handed me a camera.  i knew exactly what to do without being told or asked.  As we entered his bedroom, he tore off her clothes and his own.  Soon he was towering over her and she laid there on her back and he knelt over her with his massive cock near her mouth.  She went down on him so eagerly, without being told.  She seemed to love holding him and feeling his massiveness in her hand and mouth.  He told her to grab his cock with both hands.  She did and then looked at me and smiled as if to say, “We both know i can’t do this with you.”

i was taking so many pictures i hoped it wasn’t spoiling the mood.  Flash after flash was capturing their sanctioned tryst.

He then lowered himself so that his enormous cock was at the entrance of her pussy.  He lowered himself into her and i didn’t know what to do: Do i focus on her face to see her expression as he enters her?  Do i focus on him and watch his face as he enters her?  Do i focus on his dick and her pussy?  Or, do i take pictures?  Well, i took pictures and tried my best to capture all that was happening in my mind - trying to savor each moment knowing that this is the culmination of years and years of fantasy.

He pounded her so hard and so long and so well that i had plenty of time to take everything in from many different angles.  She squirted all over him and all over the bed, even squirting juices landed on the camera lens once!  She was in absolute ecstasy.  My wife...with her lover, her black lover.

My Wife...
His Lover.
And the amazing thing about it all is that everyone felt good and was getting what they wanted.  We again commented on how special this all was and how incredibly erotic it was.

He stepped it up and began to insert his fingers into her one at a time until finally his whole hand was inside her.  i thought she was in ecstasy before, and this was another level yet again.  He would alternate with his hand for a while until she a powerful orgasm overcame her and then he would thrust his dick inside her and make her cum that way to another crescendo.  This went on for a long time until finally he collapsed on top of her and somehow we all ended up lying in bed together with her in the middle.

i just looked at what was happening in front of me and really could scarcely believe my eyes.  There she was, my wife lying with her black lover, in his arms.  They were kissing and cuddling.  i realized i hadn’t even taken any clothes off.  i was taking so many pictures at first and then after a while i figured i would wait to be told to do so.  If she wanted me nude she would say it, right?  Well, this is all good in theory until she actually doesn't say anything!

So, there i laid in my clothes with my arm around Syd and Ry had his arm around her as well.  It was an exquisite site.  She was facing him and clearly was taken by all that just happened.  She couldn’t keep her hands off him, and for the most part i loved watching this.  However, after a while, i realized that she wasn't responding to my touch nor was she even touching me.  Her focus was totally on him.  In retrospect i can understand this a little more than i did that night, but it was painful to experience, on a number of levels.

The most pressing in my mind was knowing how i have confided in Syd over these past 6 months about how i do need reassurances in this journey, especially when her attentions are given to a bull or more poignantly here, her “boyfriend.”  For the most part, i am very good about feeling the joy inside me by seeing the joy Syd is experiencing.  This was a different night.

Okay to sit here and sat i don't have feelings of insecurity or inadequacies, well that would just be flat out dishonest.  Don’t get me wrong, for some reason, with Ry, i feel those feeling less than i have in the past with bulls or prospective bulls.  But thankfully those aren't my overriding feelings.  i am able to focus on her pleasure and derive so much joy from her enjoyment.

Adding into all this, i was feeling left out of the experience.  It was if to Syd that i wasn’t even there.  There were times while we all laid there that Ry would reach over and grab my hand and hold it.  He was clearly trying to make me feel a part of it all.  All of us have even had discussions about the importance of all of us feeling a part of this experience and how that openness and honesty will ultimately be the foundation upon which we can build a relationship.

At one point i pulled my arm off Syd to see her reaction. By the way, i don't feel good in retrospect about "testing" her.  Normally, she would say something like, “Hey, put your arm back here.”  This time she said nothing, and there i was lying next to her with seemingly no contact, no connection.  i felt a huge pit in my stomach and just felt terrible.  It was very difficult to overcome.  i wanted so badly to let go of my bad feelings but i just couldn't figure out why she was acting like this.  We have discussed this type of thing so many times - i.e., my need for reassurances.  And you would think this would be an occasion that there would be a blaring light on that need. 

A part of me thinks i shouldn’t even be thinking about what i want.  A good slave is looking out solely for the benefit of his Mistress or Master.  i do think this is not a want but a need on my part - i do need these reassurances which ultimately help me feel secure, secure enough to engage in this treacherous yet extremely fulfilling journey.

Near the end, Ry said to Syd that he wanted to see us (Syd and me) make love, he wanted to witness how we had sex and to see our passion.  i do believe he was doing this so i could feel more included in the festivities.  It was a very nice gesture.  This was problematic for me in multiple ways.  First, he had just finished fucking my wife with his huge cock and even fisted her.  Maybe i should and maybe i shouldn’t, but i thought to myself, “Oh shit, he wants to see us make love and she may never even feel me!  Sure this was my inadequacy coming out.  i also was not feeling particularly driven to have sex with Syd given her attention to me.

Ry saw that he had hit some nerve and said nicely, “I have to go to the bathroom” with a fond wink.

i asked Syd if she wanted to do that - make love in front of him - and she said, “I am okay with it.”  Alright, in the written word, it might look harmless, hey, she’s okay with it.  But the way she said it, and it was probably my feeling-hurt ears that picked up the audible, but i heard, “I mean, I’m not really feeling like having your puny penis in my pussy, but i am okay with it.”

Ok, ok, i know i am blowing it way out of proportion, and to some extent i am, but this is kind of what i was hearing and how badly i was feeling.  And, although Syd obviously didn’t mean all that i “heard."  In my brain, her lack of enthusiasm was palpable.  And, you know what, if i had just been fucked and fisted by him for a few hours, i might also be less than enthusiastic about more sex, even if Brad Pitt was the object.  Further, later i remembered how she had said earlier in the week how she may not want to make love in front of him or anyone because she viewed it as so private and intimate between us. 

Yes, i know, i am a cad.

Finally, it got late and we had to go.  The tension inside my body was killing me and i could hardly make it another minute.

We thanked Ry profusely for his generosity and hosting us.  He gave her a passionate kiss good bye and we exchanged a warm hug.

As soon as we got in the car, Syd knew there was something wrong.  You can’t (or shouldn’t be able to) live with someone for 20 years without knowing what one another is feeling.  And that is precisely why i think this hurt me so badly, i couldn't figure out how Syd could not know i was feeling this when we were all together.  i mean, even Ry sensed it and i definitely felt him reach out to try and include me.

i was torn also in describing my feelings.  All my uneasy feelings came in the last hour of us being together for over 5 hours.  A lot of terrific stuff happened and i didn’t want this to cloud over all the fun and positive events that transpired.

i explained to Syd how hurt i was - more so out of feeling neglected than anything she actively did.  i mentioned the “I am okay with it” line about having sex with me at the end for good measure.  i felt good about the entire evening until that happened with her.

After expressing myself and opening up about how i felt, Syd was devastated.  She clearly was very very upset that she would have been the cause of me feeling so badly.  It took us the entire ride home to talk about it and even though i could forgive her, it was hard to let go of the bad feelings i had.  i realized at that point it was more my issue now since i had forgiven her.  But, i was still feeling wounded.

In the morning, we spent some time together and Syd cried in my arms.  She felt terribly about what she had done and openly said she definitely messed up.  She said she was inattentive to me.  I know Syd would never intentionally hurt me for anything so seeing the hurt in her eyes and knowing she would be very mindful of this in the future, it was very easy for me to forgive her and feel good feelings toward her. 

i know nothing happens in a relationship one-way.  And, i knew i had to apologize for my actions.  i know Syd loves me.  i know she would never do anything to hurt me.  So, i could have or even should have waited to express my feelings knowing that it was something way out of the ordinary for her.  I apologized for my actions - for not being more understanding of her and being more mindful of her pleasures.  i will do better next time.

We went to lunch together and talked some more and you could feel the distance between us evaporate and i feel closer to her now than ever before.  These types of situations have a way of doing that for us.

We made a “date” for when we got home to cuddle nude in bed.  We did and it felt so warm and so secure and i again felt so devoted to her.  i ended up bringing her to a squirting orgasm and it felt good to do this for her.

For me, i remained in my cage despite hinting at a release.  Lots of loving, lots of touching, but no orgasms for me.  But you know, i am thankful for that.  She controls my orgasms and i am very grateful she does.  And, now most importantly, i feel completely connected to Syd again.

Whew - the end!

1 comment:

  1. Christian,
    You seem to be on a slippery slope. These trysts and this lifestyle is suppose to be FUN for all. It seems through out your blog you are being hurt and not enjoying the experience overall. You spent considerable time making arrangements for YOUR
    (together) 6 month anniversary. Yet the only person that got anything good was Syd.. You were left with heartache. She then falls apart on you when you explain your feelings. Women have a way for turning things back on you. She has now made you feel bad for making her feel bad. Overall, you were left with no after care, she got it, probably a very long sleepless night and no opportunity to reclaim her. Even your makeup sex was one sided. How can a woman that professes her love to you along with hurting you so badly the night before, not even let you out of your cage for even a ruined orgasm. This was YOUR anniversary too wasn't it? Christian, just because your a submissive CUCK, doesn't mean your a doormat brother! You should be getting every bit out of this that she is. One other bit of advice, I hope you are still given the opportunity to Make real love to Syd. If she hangs around LUVR for too long, she may end up cutting you off completely. While it sounds kinda cool, after a while all the teasing and denial gets old when you never get the prize.