Our First Anniversary of Wife-Led Marriage & Cuckoldry

Ryan wanted to see "his girlfriend" so we set up an evening together.  We were going to meet on Friday night after work at a hotel then go to a restaurant then back to the hotel.

He set everything up and just told me where to be.  i told Syd nothing except that i was taking her out to dinner for our anniversary.   This was not only our 21st anniversary, it was also our first anniversary of our Wife Led Marriage as well as us leading a Cuckold Lifestyle.

Syd got started getting ready very early.  i wondered why but when i saw the result, i knew.  when i walked into our bedroom to catch a glimpse, she looked incredible.  Sex was oozing from every aspect of her.  She had on a white lacy dress which was very very short.  The dress also was very low cut and showed off her stunning tits.  She had long dangling earrings and a diamond necklace on accentuated with her 5" heels.  Her whole aura just shouted, "Fuck me!"

Clearly she has grown into her hotwife-ness so gracefully and enthusiastically.  i was so proud to be with her.

i suspected she might not be wearing panties and i reached to grad her dress and lifted it up slowly.  Sure enough this hot sexy mom was wearing no underwear.

Ryan had texted me to come to the room first for the key and i could make like i had to go into the hotel alone to register.  i did as instructed and knocked on the door to his room.  He opened it and smiled and handed me the key.  He said i was doing a great job and he couldn't wait to see "his girlfriend."

i can't tell you how utterly natural it was for me to go to the room, see "her boyfriend" and get the key so that i may bring her to him so that he could do anything he wanted with her.   And, know that she would love every minute of it.

Before a year ago, this was all distant fantasy for me and now i was living a cuckold's poignant reality.  My wife has a black boyfriend and he is her lover...for real.  Most of the time the thought arouses me but there are times when I think, "What have I done??!!"  And then i get a pit in my stomach.

Anyway, i went downstairs to get Syd who was still waiting in the car.  When she got out of the car, i had to stare and take in all there was in her.  Her sexiness keeps going to new heights.  Guys stare at her so much more than before.  And, her outfits are so much more revealing than before.  She would not consider wearing some of the shoes she used to wear "because they don't have a high enough heel."

We walked hand in hand through the parking lot and a few cars passed by and slowed down.  i know why they slowed down...no one could blame them!

She was smiling the whole way.  No more the timid house wife, she was in full hotwife mode and strutting for all to see.

When we got to the room, i let her in first and just waited for her to see Ryan.  He popped out and startled her but after she realized it was him, she rushed into his strong arms and began to kiss him.  Her white dress against his dark skin was amazing.  And her white skin and blonde hair against his blackness was astounding.

i just found a spot on the bed and reclined as they passionately kissed one another.  He had his hands on her ass.  He smiled when he realized she had no panties on.  He quickly lifted her dress so that just his bare hands now enveloped her ass cheeks.  By now their kissing reached a feverish pitch as i am sure she was feeling his hardness growing in his pants.  She was breathing heavy i am sure at the thought of his massive cock stretching her tight pussy and even tighter ass.

i was lying on the bed and taking pictures of everything happening in front of me.  They looked awesome together.  i was happy for her and him.  Really.  i mean it.  Thee wasn't a tinge of jealousy as i watched his dominance begin to devour her.

Well, maybe a tinge of jealousy, okay, but i was feeling very good about all of us being together.

Soon, he told her to get on the bed and she sat down on the edge of the bed.  He unzipped his pants and she immediately went down on him.  Clearly, this was something i had never done.  i never would have been so forward and domineering.  He expected her to suck him and she clearly wanted to.  It seemed so right.

His cock was rock hard as he grabbed her hair and was rocking her head back and forth on his beautiful dick.  There was a part of me wanting to be him for sure, but there was also a part of me that wanted to be her.  His dominance seeped out of every pore in his body and what was happening in his taking my wife in this way was as it should be.

As he would say, it was the natural order of things.

With his dick glistening with Syd's saliva, he told her to lay back and she instinctively opened her legs as she did.  As he climbed on top of her, the sight of him entering her was right out of all the best porn you have ever seen.  Really, porn isn't nearly this good and even interracial porn isn't this good and cuckold porn often seems so contrived.  This was real.  Real moans.  Real sweat.  Real fluids.

Syd grabbed my hand as he entered her and all i could see was her eyes slowly roll back in her head and a quiet moan flow from her lips.  She had waited a long time for this and she was clearly enjoying every inch of him.

She still had her heels on so it made for quite a picture and video.  My wife in her heels begging her black boyfriend to fuck her and wanting all of him inside her.  Eventually, she would be begging him to plant his cum inside her pussy.

He fucked her so hard.  Harder than i ever could.  Longer than i ever could.  More forcefully than i ever could.  More expertly than i ever could.  It is a little hard to admit, but it is true.  He clearly does things to her that i can't.

His cock is so much bigger than mine; longer and thicker.  Really, it is so much longer and so much thicker.  Just one of those things would make it incredible.  But to be long and thick was every mans dream.  To have his enormous black cock inside her, was every lady's fantasy.  And Syd was living it.

i saw this on a pic and added some to it for our circumstance.  But all of it is true.  "He was so much more equipped to please my wife.  His cock elicited so much more out of my wife than i ever could; incredible passion matched with unending orgasms.  When i am inside her, it is amazing, and i wonder if it is as amazing for her.  She says she loves how we make love.  But when he fucks her, she never wants to stop.  He does something to her i don’t do.  When he slides that monster deep inside my wife, the sigh that pours from her lips is like no other.  When she cums from feeling him buried deep, she cums with her whole body, mind, and soul.  He reaches places i don’t  He touches her in places i can’t reach.  i am lucky love is such an intangible thing, and i never doubt she loves me with all her heart.  But when it comes to pure sex, his enormous cock leaves her gasping and craving to have it again as soon as she can."

She was squirting all over and soon he was soaked with her wetness.  Like me, he loves the feel of her juices on his body.  She came so so hard and i was kissing her as he pounded her with his black cock.

He then pulled her to his cock and came in her mouth and instructed her not to swallow it.  Then he grabbed me and pushed me down under her and told her, "Give him what he needs."  Se then opened her mouth and let his cum flow out and instinctively and submissively i opened my mouth and swallowed his cum

It could have been a half hour or an hour but next thing i remember was him pulling out his huge cock and fucking her again and cumming all over her chest and stomach.  As soon as he was finished, he looked at me and pointed to his jizz and said, "That's for you."

Again, without hesitation i leaned on to her and licked up all his cum.  Syd looked at me and said, "Good boy."  At that moment, everything in the world was good!

After all the sex and sweat, we ordered food and spent the next 3-4 hours talking like old friends. This relationship is clearly not only about the sex.  Yes the sex is the fuel.  But it is the relationship we have all worked so hard to cultivate that keeps the fire burning.  It truly felt like a Triad.  A Dominant and his two submissives all loving their roles and having so much fun.

We all talked about how much we appreciate the honesty we have with one another.  i feel if we keep up the open honest communication we all have with one another, this Triad could last...for a long time.

I want to be with my girlfriend...

Ry said he wanted to meet us at a hotel this time - change things up a bit.  He wanted to be with his girlfriend.  All during the week, he instructed me that i wasn’t allowed inside Syd.  He also forbade me even to touch her saying it was his pussy and he owned Syd.

Syd was very excited about meeting with him.  It had been a while and she openly talked about how she wanted to feel him inside her.  She would tease me throughout the week knowing that i couldn’t do anything.

The day before we met, he texted me and told me how he wanted her to dress.  He said he wanted her in high heels and a very short dress.  The rest he was leaving up to Syd.

He also was very good about making sure i was okay.  Making sure i could handle what was inevitably going to happen.  i assured him i was even though i knew there would be aspects that would be difficult for me.

Thankfully, Syd was also very reassuring during the week.  

He told us to wait in the lobby of the hotel.  As we drove to the hotel, we talked about how magical this all was.  And, how good we both felt about it.  Syd was especially caring to make sure i felt good about everything.  We both knew in a very short while he would be with us and she would be his.  His dominance assured it.

Syd looked absolutely ravishing.  He hair was gorgeous, to her shoulders, flowing so beautifully.  She definitely looked like a hotwife.  5” heels...very short dress...blouse unbuttoned to accentuate her luscious tits and mesmerizing cleavage…

There was a wedding at the hotel as well as some high school dance.  There is no doubt she was turning many heads of guys who would have loved to have her for their date.  i felt so proud walking in with her holding onto me so lovingly.  Yet, we both knew in a very short time she would be holding on to him for dear life.

We sat in the lobby and awaited his arrival.  He texted me and told me he would be arriving soon.  At the same time, he texted her and told her to spread her legs for him.  He walked in as if he was talking on the phone and he would casually look over in our direction.  Anyone watching would have had no idea what was happening, but Syd was getting wet at the clandestine excitement of it all.

He soon passed us and was heading towards the hotel room.  He would soon text us the room number and we would heed his call.

As we entered the room, he walked up to Syd and she easily melted into his arms.  They kissed passionately and i noted the erotic differences in the skin types, one so dark and one so white and seeing both together was a titillating.

Ry broke his kiss with Syd long enough to tell me to go down to the lobby restaurant and fetch some wine glasses.  i departed the room obediently and noted that i was so erect, or as erect as i could be in my cage.

As i walked down the hallway to the elevators, i couldn't believe this was all happening.  i was being sent out by my wife's lover to get some glasses while he had his way with her.  Others might find this wholly objectionable, i found it utterly arousing.

The whole time i was out of the room competing my assigned task, i could only imagine what he was doing to her.  What she must be feeling right now.  In some ways I had a pit in my stomach, but definitely not like i had ever imagined nor was it as bad as i ever thought it would be.  The pit was no match for the eroticism of this relationship.  My wife has a black lover and i am happy for her...for him.

i kind of rushed back to the room, I was eager to see them together.  When i opened the door, Syd was on all fours on the bed and he was fucking her.  All i heard was her intense moaning, moans of pleasure.  The pleasure in her moans was unmistakable. 

My hand immediately went to my crotch hoping I'm sure to stroke Syd's toy only to be rebuffed by the cold metal of my cage.  Sometimes i love my cage, I really do.  At that point, i was cursing it.

They were oblivious to my presence.  They were very much into one another as two lovers would be. 

He was fucking her so hard, so passionately, so dominantly.  She was in another place, so taken by him and his mammoth cock.  She was letting our screams of pleasure that i am sure any passersby as well as adjoining rooms could hear.

So intense was her pleasure and his, that all i could think about was not only how much i would love to be him, but also how much i’d love to be her.

As i laid next to them on the bed at one point, as he was deeply inside her and she was in open mouthed nirvana, he looked me straight in the eyes and said, “This is how she wants to be fucked, how she needs to be fucked.  She can't feel this way with your little dick.”

He then told her to tell me how much she needed him.  It was an easy request as the words flowed effortlessly from her lips, “Honey, he is making me feel so fantastic.  You can’t make me feel like this.  I love you and thank you for making all this possible.”

He pulled out of her and his black cock glistened with her juices.  Seeing him without a condom was so powerful.  He then instructed me to get on my knees and clean off his cock.  i did as he asked and began licking his black cock all over, making sure i was doing as he asked and cleaning it.  i wanted to suck it, badly, but i didn't want to presume i could and be thought of as disobedient.  He must have seen how eagerly i licked him and devoured his manhood.  He just looked at her and said, “Look at him.  Look how he loves this.”

i did my best at “cleaning” and not sucking and even did it without my hands as i thought he would prefer me doing it “wirelessly.”

i have to admit, his cock is something to behold.  His cock is probably 2x longer than mine and like 4x wider than mine.  i literally cannot touch any of my fingers together when i grasp him.  It must be such a high to reach into his pants and just take a piss.  i think if i had that much weight, length, and girth, i’d have to show it off!!

He then pushed my head off his cock and had Syd turn around so he could enter her again.  He told her to get on the bed and he began fucking her on all fours as she faced me.  

He then told me to take off my cage.  Gladly and excitedly I began to unlock my cage with the key he had placed on the hotel desk.  Immediately, Syd’s toy reached its fullness and was uncontrollably erect.

He told me to come over to him and then he pulled out of Syd.  He had us stand together so she could see the difference.  She couldn’t take her eyes off us and kind of gasped.  He said, “Now which one would you prefer?”

In  nanosecond, she exclaimed, “Yours!  Definitely!”

She continued, “Oh, my god, I can’t believe how much bigger you are than him.  I never thought there was THIS much difference.  Yours is sooooo much bigger, so much thicker”  Her eyes were transfixed on us and our differences.

He made her continue to tell me how much she preferred his cock and that i could never make her feel like he does.

All the while, i was raging hard.  i had never experienced such humiliation, especially from my wife and her black boyfriend.

While i felt humiliated, i was also incredibly aroused.  Looking at the differences in our cocks, i definitely understood it all and knew why she would say such things.  It was pretty obvious.  If i was her, i thought to myself, i’d say the same things.

And, he continued to fuck her so exquisitely and soon she was screaming and squirting all over the place.  i could tell he loved the feeling of making her squirt and reveled in the wetness that was all over him.  Soon, he impaled himself and i saw a look in him i hadn’t seen before. i knew he was fucking her, it looked like such an aggressive loving fuck and soon he exploded inside her and began to let out groans of pleasure and then again looked at me and said, “That’s how you fuck your wife.”

Hearing him say that made me feel small and yet i was excited for her.  It is hard to describe, but i was happy for Syd.

We then all laid down in the bed and intertwined we talked about how unbelievable this all was.  It all felt so erotic and so natural.  There was nothing hokey about it, nothing that didn't seem real or good, it all seemed perfect.  And all that i say and i wasn’t even allowed to cum.  I reeeeeally wanted to, but it didn't happen.  i knew it was all a part of me knowing my place.

Soon, i was being sent downstairs to get food for everyone and when i came back to the room, of course he was fucking her but this time they were facing the window to the parking lot and if someone was watching, they definitely would have seen a show.  I don’t think anyone did or could, but it was over the top seeing my wife being fucked at a window by her black boyfriend.

Afterward, Syd and i got into our car and we both couldn't have been happier.  i know you must be reading this wondering how is it possible, but it was and is.  We have never been happier and it all feels so good, so right, so pure.  She told me how much she loved me and how happy she was.  It felt warm hearing her say those things.

Syd and i talked about inviting Ry with us on our overnight trip to a seminar we are attending next week.

Stay tuned...

Grow!

i made it through the rain. 

First, i helped her get ready for her day with Ry.  She looked so beautiful, so sexy.  She wore a very enticing see through blouse accented with a silky teddy underneath which perfectly exposed her cleavage, a mini skirt which showed off her sensual legs, and 5" heels which put her at about 6'1" standing stately and spicy.

During the day, Syd was very good about reassuring me - making sure i knew that i was her only slave, her only husband, and that she would always take care of me and that nothing or no one would ever come between us in our relationship.  It meant a lot to hear those words from her even though intuitively i know all this to be true.

My stomach was in a flutter as we got into the car for the ride to her boyfriend's house.  We talked all along the way about how erotic all this was and how fun.  That i was taking her to her boyfriend so that she could spend the day with him alone was really intoxicating.  

i know it was fun for me because i trust Syd and also i trust him.  Without that trust i think it all would have been a real struggle for me.  As it was, i was enjoying the fact that she was going to get some needed alone time with him and knew that she would be taken care of - more than taken care of!  it had been a stressful week for Syd so i also knew she would love the sex he was about to give her.

Thankfully i was able to get into a good frame of mind focusing on Syd's pleasure.  So, instead of focusing on my perceived angst, i was able to feel pleasure because she was feeling pleasure.

Now, all this doesn't mean i didn't feel angst, i definitely did.  But, it was a good angst, the kind i would say is appropriate for the cuckold relationship.

After i dropped her off, she left the car told me how much she loved me and walked into Ry's house.

i drove home alone feeling very good about all that transpired to this point.  

i concentrated on doing some chores around the house and running a couple errands.  All the while, of course, i was thinking of her and him and what they were doing.  

Finally, i received her call to come pick her up.  i raced to his house in record time!  He met me at the door and let me in the house whereupon entering Syd came to me and gave me a big hug and kiss.  The smile on her face made it all worthwhile.  And, the smile on his face spoke volumes about his conquest.

We all talked about how wild this all was and he thanked me for doing all this, saying none of this could happen without me.  It felt good to hear that from him.

On our ride home, Syd was so loving towards me and we both felt closer because of the experience. Oddly, all of this has brought us closer in so many ways.

To Grow or Not to Grow...that is the Question

This week, her boyfriend Ry said he wanted to see her on Saturday (tomorrow) - alone.  If you have read this blog, you know i have had some very difficult times around these types of scenes.  In the past, when i felt worst, i know i was focusing on myself, my feelings, my needs and wants.  i know i feel best when i am focusing on Syd's needs, wants, and feelings.  What all seems like a haze of fear and trembling becomes clearly an erotic endeavor that is fun and thrilling, and yes okay, complimented by a little angst.

And, i realize more and more that is normal.  And, the more Syd reassures me, the more i feel good about her going to see him tomorrow and spending the day with him without me.  i feel like i am becoming more able to bask in her love than baste in my fears.  After all, i know she loves me, would never to anything to harm me, and will always take care of me.

So, i sit here plugged and caged reminded of my submissiveness with every movement.  By tomorrow night after i take her to her boyfriend and lover, and then after she calls me to pick her up, i fervently hope i can be thankful for this gift she has given me (and he has given me), an opportunity for me to grow.

Six Month Anniversary & New Bull/Dominant

Sorry for not posting sooner, but a lot has happened in the last 2 months or so since the last post.

Here's the latest:

6 Months of
Female Led Marriage - Chastity -  Cuckoldry
(a LOT to celebrate!)

February 23^rd marked the six month anniversary of our new lifestyle for Syd and me.  This is to say twenty

and one-half years of marriage.  To celebrate it, Ry and i thought up a surprise evening for all of us - one in which Syd would know nothing about until the very last second.  Ry suggested we go to his house for the evening.  This was a gesture i didn't take lightly as i know how private he is.  It felt good that he trusted us as we trust him.

He and i had the idea hatching for about a week until the fateful day came.  i told Syd we were going out on a date and to please keep her schedule clear.  i told her we were going out to dinner at a place she had never been.  She seemed very happy to go out in what was billed as our "anniversary" dinner.

There is always suspense around what she will wear when we go out now.  i never know exactly - will it be a sexy outfit?  Or, will it be something casual?  i asked her to dress sexy for me.  i even asked her to wear garters for me.  She smiled at me and said playfully, "You know, I only wear those for my boyfriend."

Nonetheless, she looked stunning.  Her shiny blonde mane so perfectly framed her pretty face.  It bounced and curled off her shoulders just how i like it. She wore silver hoop earrings - my favorites.  i think they make her look so elegant yet incredibly desirable - i.e., they say "Fuck me!" to me.

The blouse she had on was absolutely one of finest i have ever seen her wear.  It was a light tan shirt that was see-through on the arms and back and very low cut in the front.  Her gorgeous neck displayed her necklace that we both know as the symbol of our female led marriage.  To see her silky bra through her blouse is a sight to behold.  i am getting hard right now just writing about it.

The pants she chose for the evening are a deep goldish/brown color and accentuate her ass perfectly.  Whenever she wears these pants, guys can't help but look and stare at her as she passes.   And to top it off, she wore my favorite boots - brown leather with a very sexy 3 or 4 inch heel.  These boots look like a female dominant could wear them or a hotwife.  In this case, it demonstrated both.

i was feeling very good about this evening.  Even though i knew she would be taken by her "boyfriend" in ways i could only imagine, i was very excited about watching her in ecstasy which i knew would almost certainly happen.  i am still caged so i knew there wasn't a high probability of her "toy" seeing any action, but i definitely hoped.  i was looking forward to feeling a closeness among the three of us - almost of the polyamorous variety.  Perhaps this would be the seed of bad feelings for me later.

We drove to Ry's house and Syd really didn't suspect anything until we began to pull into his driveway.  She knew instantly that this house must be her boyfriend's.  She smiled and said, "I can't believe you two did this.  I had no idea.  Now, I am very nervous."

i told her that i didn't tell her about it earlier because i didn't want her to be nervous and i sensed she appreciated that.  Previously, i bought two bottles of wine and had them stashed in the back of the car.  i knew she and Ry both like red wine and i bought a couple special bottles of Pinot Noir for the occasion.

We walked hand in hand to the front door and i rang the doorbell.  He answered the door and we entered the foyer and were all smiling brilliantly.  i closed the door as they hugged and kissed.  He then welcomed me and shook my hand then we also hugged.  The kind of macho hug you might give your male cousin - lol.

He walked us through his living room and dining room showing us a couple projects he had underway.  His house was very warm and welcoming.  It felt very good to be in his home and there wasn't an ounce of me that felt uncomfortable.

We proceeded to the kitchen where he was almost complete with a renovation project he did himself.  The workmanship was impeccable and Syd and i both loved his choices of finishes.  He continued telling us the details of the renovation and at the end he looked at me and said, "And, I have a favor to ask you."

From there, he showed me various food items i was to prepare for the three of us - tilapia, couscous, and broccoli.  He told me i was to prepare the fish with coriander, salt and pepper topped with lemon slices.  The couscous just needed to be boiled and set aside.  And the broccoli was to be steamed.  He wanted the coriander to be roasted.  And, then showed me where his mortar and pestle was so i could grind the coriander.

Then, i was left in the kitchen alone as they proceeded to the living room.  i knew i had a task and was intent on pleasing Syd and Ry with the dinner.  Having the task almost, i say almost, let me forget what was happening in the other room.  i couldn't see anything, but i could hear things.  First, it was mostly cute giggles and then after a bit of silence i could hear Syd moaning.  She was moaning louder than i can ever remember her moaning and the sounds of her pleasure accompanied my directions to prepare dinner in a symphony of eroticism.  i couldn't help but feel the pressure of my little dick (as Ry instructs me to call my penis) straining against my metal cage.  It was very hard to concentrate knowing the most intense scene was playing out in the next room.

As i continued my preparations, Syd's moans grew increasingly strident and then i could hear the sounds of them going upstairs to what must have been Ry's bedroom.  Her moans while a bit muffled, were growing in intensity and i could tell she was going through many phases of ecstasy.  And, i did my best to stay focused on the task at hand for i wanted to make this a very special dinner, an anniversary dinner, to be celebrated with the three of us.

This is what i imagined as i prepared dinner.

So, i set the table, searching his cabinets for wine glasses and napkins, placing the water glasses, getting silverware and even checking google to make sure all were placed properly (the wine and water glasses threw me).  i reveled in the submissive attitude i felt.  Every once and while i would hear her moan so beautifully.  i was astounded that i felt good feelings inside each time i heard her sexual cry or his guttural groan.  i knew she was feeling pleasure and that was all that mattered to me.

The moans were growing stronger and louder and soon i could hear him cum with such force, and although i knew he was wearing a condom, i imagined him cumming inside her with rockets of cum inside her freshly invaded pussy.  i truly wished i was there to witness it.

As dinner was close to being fully prepared, they came downstairs and she reached me first.  She melted right into my arms and planted a huge kiss on me thanking me for orchestrating this night and for cooking for her and her black boyfriend.

i lowered the lights and asked them both to sit at the table.  It was round and Syd sat in the middle of us.  As they sat and talked, i served them their food and then brought my plate to the table last.

We all sat there looking at one another and just couldn’t get over what was transpiring.  None of us had ever experienced what we were experiencing and it felt so universally good - on all levels.

Syd raised her glass and toasted Ry for having us over and then looked at me and toasted me for making it all possible.  The dinner was off to a good start.

We sat and ate and drank and talked like old friends for over an hour and a half.  We exchanged stories about one another giving each a glimpse into our lives.  He was learning more about us and we were learning more about him. 

Once dinner was over, i cleared the table as they went into the living room.  i joined them soon and Syd was

lying in his arms on the couch as if she had been with him for a long time.  They looked cute.  It was an awesome sight and it made my whole body warm.  He began to kiss her, tweaking her nipples, and inserting one of his fingers inside her.  I’d say it was within about a minute she was literally squirting all over, soaking her pants and even his couch.  It was quite a sight.

Seeing both her hands around his dick
with room to spare, caused us both
to look at one another.

Ry saw me and mentioned it was time for all of us to go upstairs to his bedroom. As we ascended the stairs, he handed me a camera.  i knew exactly what to do without being told or asked.  As we entered his bedroom, he tore off her clothes and his own.  Soon he was towering over her and she laid there on her back and he knelt over her with his massive cock near her mouth.  She went down on him so eagerly, without being told.  She seemed to love holding him and feeling his massiveness in her hand and mouth.  He told her to grab his cock with both hands.  She did and then looked at me and smiled as if to say, “We both know i can’t do this with you.”

i was taking so many pictures i hoped it wasn’t spoiling the mood.  Flash after flash was capturing their sanctioned tryst.

He then lowered himself so that his enormous cock was at the entrance of her pussy.  He lowered himself into her and i didn’t know what to do: Do i focus on her face to see her expression as he enters her?  Do i focus on him and watch his face as he enters her?  Do i focus on his dick and her pussy?  Or, do i take pictures?  Well, i took pictures and tried my best to capture all that was happening in my mind - trying to savor each moment knowing that this is the culmination of years and years of fantasy.

He pounded her so hard and so long and so well that i had plenty of time to take everything in from many different angles.  She squirted all over him and all over the bed, even squirting juices landed on the camera lens once!  She was in absolute ecstasy.  My wife...with her lover, her black lover.

My Wife...
His Lover.

And the amazing thing about it all is that everyone felt good and was getting what they wanted.  We again commented on how special this all was and how incredibly erotic it was.

He stepped it up and began to insert his fingers into her one at a time until finally his whole hand was inside her.  i thought she was in ecstasy before, and this was another level yet again.  He would alternate with his hand for a while until she a powerful orgasm overcame her and then he would thrust his dick inside her and make her cum that way to another crescendo.  This went on for a long time until finally he collapsed on top of her and somehow we all ended up lying in bed together with her in the middle.

i just looked at what was happening in front of me and really could scarcely believe my eyes.  There she was, my wife lying with her black lover, in his arms.  They were kissing and cuddling.  i realized i hadn’t even taken any clothes off.  i was taking so many pictures at first and then after a while i figured i would wait to be told to do so.  If she wanted me nude she would say it, right?  Well, this is all good in theory until she actually doesn't say anything!

So, there i laid in my clothes with my arm around Syd and Ry had his arm around her as well.  It was an exquisite site.  She was facing him and clearly was taken by all that just happened.  She couldn’t keep her hands off him, and for the most part i loved watching this.  However, after a while, i realized that she wasn't responding to my touch nor was she even touching me.  Her focus was totally on him.  In retrospect i can understand this a little more than i did that night, but it was painful to experience, on a number of levels.

The most pressing in my mind was knowing how i have confided in Syd over these past 6 months about how i do need reassurances in this journey, especially when her attentions are given to a bull or more poignantly here, her “boyfriend.”  For the most part, i am very good about feeling the joy inside me by seeing the joy Syd is experiencing.  This was a different night.

Okay to sit here and sat i don't have feelings of insecurity or inadequacies, well that would just be flat out dishonest.  Don’t get me wrong, for some reason, with Ry, i feel those feeling less than i have in the past with bulls or prospective bulls.  But thankfully those aren't my overriding feelings.  i am able to focus on her pleasure and derive so much joy from her enjoyment.

Adding into all this, i was feeling left out of the experience.  It was if to Syd that i wasn’t even there.  There were times while we all laid there that Ry would reach over and grab my hand and hold it.  He was clearly trying to make me feel a part of it all.  All of us have even had discussions about the importance of all of us feeling a part of this experience and how that openness and honesty will ultimately be the foundation upon which we can build a relationship.

At one point i pulled my arm off Syd to see her reaction. By the way, i don't feel good in retrospect about "testing" her.  Normally, she would say something like, “Hey, put your arm back here.”  This time she said nothing, and there i was lying next to her with seemingly no contact, no connection.  i felt a huge pit in my stomach and just felt terrible.  It was very difficult to overcome.  i wanted so badly to let go of my bad feelings but i just couldn't figure out why she was acting like this.  We have discussed this type of thing so many times - i.e., my need for reassurances.  And you would think this would be an occasion that there would be a blaring light on that need. 

A part of me thinks i shouldn’t even be thinking about what i want.  A good slave is looking out solely for the benefit of his Mistress or Master.  i do think this is not a want but a need on my part - i do need these reassurances which ultimately help me feel secure, secure enough to engage in this treacherous yet extremely fulfilling journey.

Near the end, Ry said to Syd that he wanted to see us (Syd and me) make love, he wanted to witness how we had sex and to see our passion.  i do believe he was doing this so i could feel more included in the festivities.  It was a very nice gesture.  This was problematic for me in multiple ways.  First, he had just finished fucking my wife with his huge cock and even fisted her.  Maybe i should and maybe i shouldn’t, but i thought to myself, “Oh shit, he wants to see us make love and she may never even feel me!  Sure this was my inadequacy coming out.  i also was not feeling particularly driven to have sex with Syd given her attention to me.

Ry saw that he had hit some nerve and said nicely, “I have to go to the bathroom” with a fond wink.

i asked Syd if she wanted to do that - make love in front of him - and she said, “I am okay with it.”  Alright, in the written word, it might look harmless, hey, she’s okay with it.  But the way she said it, and it was probably my feeling-hurt ears that picked up the audible, but i heard, “I mean, I’m not really feeling like having your puny penis in my pussy, but i am okay with it.”

Ok, ok, i know i am blowing it way out of proportion, and to some extent i am, but this is kind of what i was hearing and how badly i was feeling.  And, although Syd obviously didn’t mean all that i “heard."  In my brain, her lack of enthusiasm was palpable.  And, you know what, if i had just been fucked and fisted by him for a few hours, i might also be less than enthusiastic about more sex, even if Brad Pitt was the object.  Further, later i remembered how she had said earlier in the week how she may not want to make love in front of him or anyone because she viewed it as so private and intimate between us. 

Yes, i know, i am a cad.

Finally, it got late and we had to go.  The tension inside my body was killing me and i could hardly make it another minute.

We thanked Ry profusely for his generosity and hosting us.  He gave her a passionate kiss good bye and we exchanged a warm hug.

As soon as we got in the car, Syd knew there was something wrong.  You can’t (or shouldn’t be able to) live with someone for 20 years without knowing what one another is feeling.  And that is precisely why i think this hurt me so badly, i couldn't figure out how Syd could not know i was feeling this when we were all together.  i mean, even Ry sensed it and i definitely felt him reach out to try and include me.

i was torn also in describing my feelings.  All my uneasy feelings came in the last hour of us being together for over 5 hours.  A lot of terrific stuff happened and i didn’t want this to cloud over all the fun and positive events that transpired.

i explained to Syd how hurt i was - more so out of feeling neglected than anything she actively did.  i mentioned the “I am okay with it” line about having sex with me at the end for good measure.  i felt good about the entire evening until that happened with her.

After expressing myself and opening up about how i felt, Syd was devastated.  She clearly was very very upset that she would have been the cause of me feeling so badly.  It took us the entire ride home to talk about it and even though i could forgive her, it was hard to let go of the bad feelings i had.  i realized at that point it was more my issue now since i had forgiven her.  But, i was still feeling wounded.

In the morning, we spent some time together and Syd cried in my arms.  She felt terribly about what she had done and openly said she definitely messed up.  She said she was inattentive to me.  I know Syd would never intentionally hurt me for anything so seeing the hurt in her eyes and knowing she would be very mindful of this in the future, it was very easy for me to forgive her and feel good feelings toward her. 

i know nothing happens in a relationship one-way.  And, i knew i had to apologize for my actions.  i know Syd loves me.  i know she would never do anything to hurt me.  So, i could have or even should have waited to express my feelings knowing that it was something way out of the ordinary for her.  I apologized for my actions - for not being more understanding of her and being more mindful of her pleasures.  i will do better next time.

We went to lunch together and talked some more and you could feel the distance between us evaporate and i feel closer to her now than ever before.  These types of situations have a way of doing that for us.

We made a “date” for when we got home to cuddle nude in bed.  We did and it felt so warm and so secure and i again felt so devoted to her.  i ended up bringing her to a squirting orgasm and it felt good to do this for her.

For me, i remained in my cage despite hinting at a release.  Lots of loving, lots of touching, but no orgasms for me.  But you know, i am thankful for that.  She controls my orgasms and i am very grateful she does.  And, now most importantly, i feel completely connected to Syd again.

Whew - the end!

21 Days - No Orgasms!

Today we had a couples session with our coach and discussed a lot of things.  The biggest point of discussion was how i would be entering a total of 21 days without an orgasm.  Along the way i would be gauging how things are going and sending results to M.  She in turn will work with Syd on maximizing the effect of my orgasms.  The idea of not having an orgasm for 21 days is very scary.  Given then that up until 4 months ago, i basically had orgasms on demand, via masturbation, but it was on demand.  While it is scary, it does seem like Syd wants this and we are clarifying this in discussions.

  

Up till now Syd has generally said that she wants this but it was because i introduced it that she wants it, she didn’t even know about it before.  We talked about this and i said i think it is important for her to want it regardless of whether i want it, and for me to want it regardless of whether she wants it, and then, only then, can we both want this for us.  Obviously, if i know Syd wants this, i want it.  If she knows i want this then she wants this.  It seems pretty clear then that we both want this but i think that may be difficult for Syd to admit at times.

So, i am in day 4 of 21 of my non-orgasm state.  i know i have a huge pit in my stomach for a lot of reasons.  Obvious it is that i am looking at the next 17 days without orgasms when i was hoping today to orgasm with Syd.  Also, a lot of other thoughts creep into my mind like Syd having sex with other guys - lovers - and that leaves a bigger pit.  Now, i know this is what i wanted, and it is what i want for her, it’s just difficult going through it in reality sometimes.  if i ever thought this was just some role playing fun game, i kind of know we are entering a very real and planned out stage.  i hope it continues to be fun.

Bull J

Today i texted with Bull J and i do like my interaction with him.  It feels like texting a friend, maybe even someone closer because of our experiences.  He does make me laugh and i am sure that Syd likes that in him as well.  Of the guys she has been with, i am learning the most from him.  i never really thought about this as a learning experience for me, but it is.  i have learned a lot about Syd’s body and for that i will be forever grateful.  Being able to find her G spot has added so much to our lovemaking, and i want to perfect that sensation for her.  i am not quite there yet, but i will get there!  i suspect she will be meeting Bull J for coffee tomorrow or the next day and i wonder how that is going to go.  i do hope he responds well and that we continue to see him.

Cuckold Correction & Training

Last night, Syd told me to get undressed and lie in bed.  I did so and my mind began racing, "Okay, is this a good thing or bad thing?"  The way she said it, i knew she wasn't totally pleased with me.

And, in the back of my mind, i knew it was for good reason.  Earlier in the day, with a hundred things happening with the kids and life in general, as we were driving, i asked her, "Do you want to play?"

She said something like, “This is not really a good time to ask me.”  Instead of understanding what all was happening in her orbit, i focused on myself and basically pouted.  i began trying to outline to her why i asked and was even upset with her response.  Inside i knew i had crossed a line and things were definitely chilly on the ride home.  And from experience, i knew we would be talking about this later whether she brought it up or i brought it up.

So, i laid down on the bed on my back nude.  i was hard already.  Syd took some of our favorite oil and rubbed her hands with it and then began rubbing my dick.  She got in a position in which she faces me and lays her legs over mine and almost immobilizes me.  Then she rubbed my dick talking about the day.  She talked about how good i was in the morning bringing her coffee in bed and having the kitchen clean when she went downstairs.  And while she was praising me, she was getting me so aroused and hard; it felt incredible.

As i was very near an orgasm, she began to talk about what happened on our car ride.  And, she stopped rubbing me altogether.  She told me how disappointed she was that all i thought about was myself and didn't understand what she was going through at the time.  Immediately, my dick went limp and i felt very badly about what i had done.

i apologized and as i said the words she began stroking me again saying, “I know you are and and as my slave you have to get better at looking at things from my perspective.”

She continued, “And a good slave looks out for his Mistress and instead of thinking about himself should think of ways to make my life less stressful.”  i nodded and said, “Yes, Mistress.  That is what i want to do and what pleases me.  i realize that now even more.”  She continued telling me “what a little boy” i was until i was near the edge of orgasm again.

This may take longer than 8 weeks!

She stopped rubbing me again and said, “You know how badly you made me feel?  On top of all the other issues happening with the kids, I now had to worry about you and your wants.”  And again my dick deflated and i felt very badly for what i had done.  i told Syd how much i was sorry and felt badly about adding to her stress instead of taking stress away from her.  After all, it excites me to think of ways to reduce her stress and i know i love doing that.

She began rubbing me again and said, “You are a good little boy.  I know you want to do these things and it is my job to help remind you of consequences of not doing them.”  Of course, i got instantly hard again and again she brought me to the edge of orgasm and stopped.

She talked about how i must have felt that she wasn't going to take care of her - How selfish i was in my actions.

Then, she began rubbing me again saying, “But you know, I will always take care of you, your are my prized slave, I will care for you in ways you haven’t even imagined.”  And she continued along this line reaffirming how precious i was to her and that i didn't need to think about my needs that she would take care of them for me.

She brought me to the edge again and again and again in this way until finally at one point i begged her to stop because i was going to cum.  She continued until i was just about to orgasm and then totally stopped everything and i had a ruined orgasm - she has gotten very good at this and the perfect timing.

I hadn't come in over a week and i was so looking forward to a full orgasm.  She made it very clear that i would have been able to have a full orgasm if but for my earlier actions.

As we went to sleep afterward, i reflected on the day and realized even more how selfish i was and knew that was not how i wanted to act.  An overwhelming sense of thankfulness came over me for Syd and how she corrected that action.  How she used positive reinforcements for me.  In fact, i realized she was probably training me given the repeated edging and verbal cues.  i nodded off to sleep in such a state of bliss knowing i was the luckiest slave and husband on the planet.

A Bull Meeting Syd - Covert Affairs

i am writing this hours after my last entry.  Syd met with the guy.  This was her first meeting alone with a guy on a first meeting.  She handled herself beautifully.  Unbeknownst to her, i was watching the whole episode from a nearby coffee shop.  They were sitting outside at a table of another coffee shop.  This guy in my emails with him was pretty much an arrogant dick.  i thought this would be great practice for Syd figuring he would try to pull some of the same s*^t he did with me.  i felt like a covert agent watching my partner from afar and i was there to protect her, anything goes wrong, i knew i was going to jump up and run and protect her.  Well, he's the one who needed protection.  Now, i didn’t hear what they said until much later, so i only could go by body language.  Syd was sitting like a proud peacock (now you know she didn’t know I was there), he was sitting opposite her.  Next thing i see is him fold his arms (i.e., like oh shit i better protect myself).  He just sat there like a little school boy listening to the attractive teacher on his first day of class.  He laughed at her jokes and it looked like he was being very gentlemanly.  Syd looked resolute and firm.  

Well, we met soon after their meeting and we couldn’t have had a more fun time together.  i doubt we had as much fun in our entire marriage as we did today.  Today, it was confirmed to me that i am married to a very powerful lady, a wife who knows what she wants, and won’t let some guy just trolling for a fuck to get any upper hand.  To see Syd basking in hr conquest was something to behold.  In the beginning I wanted Syd to experience all she could in life and that included sexually.  It is clear that she is experiencing so much more and I am elated that she is feeling the powerful feelings she is - she deserves to feel them.  i have never felt so loved, so lovable, and so in love in my life.  i have never felt so powerful as a husband, lover, and friend (and of course slave boy) as i feel now to Syd.  i am so very lucky to be married to Syd and now i know “my friend” is there to help me reach new heights.  i am so excited for our next 20 years of marriage!

My New Friend

i am sitting here this morning while Syd is texting a bull.  We have been with him already so i know him.  There is nothing easy about sitting and waiting so i choose to try and busy my mind.  i am finding the most difficult issue for me so far is giving up control, letting go.  It gives me a pit in my stomach not knowing what is happening.  i suspect that this “pit” and i will have to become friends.   

In the past, i would have suspected the worst.  Now, in this new found place, it is a little better, i trust Syd and know she loves me and would never do anything to hurt me.  When i focus on that, i can feel my breathing ease and body begin to relax.