Bull T - 1st Date

Today, S informed me She was going on a date with a Bull T.  This is the same guy She went to bed with after we met him for coffee. 

You see, typically, S likes to meet a bull on the first date alone.  That is generally over coffee or drinks to see if She likes him and if they are compatible.  If he passes that test, then She has the bull meet with both of us must in the same public-style venue (e.g., coffee shop).   This is to see if we are all compatible together and for S to see the interaction between me and the bull.  Then, if he passes that test, She schedules the first "date."  This first date is generally with S and the bull alone so that they are comfortable together without any interference from me.  Not that i would interfere, but just my presence adds an element S does not want on that first date.

As you know from my previous post, S went straight on a date with Bull T from our 2^nd meeting.  i thought that since that meeting happened, we would be going on the first date together - all 3 of us.  i was wrong.  S informed me that She prefers to meet with Bull T another time alone.

To complicate matters, S and i had a pretty serious discussion in the morning about cuckoldry and its impact on our relationship.  i will tell you about this conversation in a later post.  But, it ended with us feeling very good about everything.  In fact, S was very clear to ask me if i was okay with everything.  i said, "Yes."

On our drive home (we chose to have our conversation at a park), i was thinking to myself how much i wanted to be with S, how much i needed to be with S.  i was thinking i definitely needed some bonding time after our long discussion.

So, when we got home, we walked into the house and S came up to me and said, "Bull T had asked Me earlier in the week to get together today and i had put him off, but since everything is good now I want to go be with him."

It felt like someone just punched me in the stomach.  So, here i was wanting to bond with S so very much, in fact needing it, and stupid me i didn't bother to communicate that need to the person that matters most - S!

Now, i was in a jam.  Do i tell her now how much i wanted to bond and risk Her feeling badly for upsetting me?  Or, do i not say anything and wait until after Her date with Bull T and get some bonding time then.

Know, that before 2 months ago, i definitely would have told Her right then and there.  But now my lens was a lot different.  i was now thinking about how best to make S happy.  i knew that if S knew i needed bonding time, She would have been with me with no questions, happily.  In fact, if i told Her now how much i felt i needed bonding time, i know She would do it.

Feeding into my emotions, although i am not proud of them, was anger.  my thoughts went something like, "How could She not know i needed some bonding time after such an intense discussion???  i mean, we have been married 20 years, She definitely knows me better than that!  And, then She tells me She wants to go with Bull T???"

Although i wasn't happy, and i know S could sense it because She does knows me that well that i cannot hide my feelings from Her, i told S that i was good with Her meeting Bull T, not that she needed or was looking for my permission.  Inside, i knew i had some work to do to make my words coincide with my feelings.

She even gave me some tasks to do while She was with him!

Well, good thing i had some time to get my head straight.  i used it to calm down and really think about the situation.  Although i was pissed, i knew it was all of my own making.  i failed to communicate my needs to S and without that knowledge She did what She wanted to do - meet with Bull T.

cuckold angst - Syd style

i knew i had this time to get my mind around being happy for Her.  And you know what, i was able to get there.  Mainly, because i knew S loved me and would never do anything to hurt me emotionally.  So, i felt free to be happy for Her because this is what i want for Her, truly.  i want Her to feel freedom, to feel sexually fulfilled.

Once She texted me that She was finished, i drove to get Her hoping She would want to bond in the afterglow of Her date.  She did and we laid in the hotel bed where Bull T just fucked Her.  He left this condom on the bedside table and i could see that it was filled with his cum.  That was a huge turn on.

S had to go into the bathroom and i even picked up the condom to inspect it.  i guess i wanted to see how much there was, how much of a bull was this guy.  Even as i write this, i feel sheepish about admitting that, but i can't help it, i wanted to feel that condom, feel what had been inside Her, pleasing Her, and what was now filled with the result of his passion.  Maybe i divulge too much here!! :)

Anyway, S came back to the bed and we laid there cuddling and holding one another.  She was very good about telling me every detail of Her exploits with Bull T and "her toy" was hard throughout.  This led to one of the best sex sessions we have ever had.  In almost no time, i had S squirting all over the bed soaking it with Her juices.  i wanted so badly for Her to squirt on me.

She loves me!

Afterward, all my emotions during the day seemed almost unnecessary.  i was laying in the arms of the love of my life, my Mistress and Wife.  Nothing in the world seemed to matter to me except that i was home - emotionally, home in Her arms.

i would tell Her about my earlier feelings and She would totally understand.  Of course!  She expressed Her love for me and how She would always protect me, always love me, always take care of me.  As Her submissive, as Her slave, this made all the stars align!!